Against stupidity, the Gods themselves contend in vain!

Borrow money from pessimists - they don't expect it back.

Defeat isn't bitter if you don't swallow it.

Early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

Earn cash in your spare time - blackmail friends.

A closed mouth gathers no feet.

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.

Silence is wise if we are foolish, but foolish if we are wise.

The early bird gets the worm, but the early worm gets eaten.

In the winds of change, keep the fire within.

Even the boldest zebra fears the hungry lion.

Excuses are the easiest things to manufacture, and the hardest things to sell.

Even the smallest candle burns brighter in the dark.

Never try to leap a chasm in two jumps.

Water which is too pure has no fish.

Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot.

Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

A drunk mans' words are a sober mans' thoughts.

Forgiveness is like the fragrance a flower gives after it's been stepped on.

Friends are chocolate chips in the cookie of life.

A man who lives in a glass house should change in the basement.

A man who throws dirt loses ground.

A man with a watch knows what time it is. A man with two watches is never sure.

A proverb is a short sentence based on long experience.

A proverb is the wisdom of many and the wit of one.

A real leader faces the music, even when he doesn't like the tune.

A ton of regret never made an ounce of difference.

A true friend walks in when the world walks out.

A wise man can see more from the bottom of a well than a fool can from a mountain top.

A wise man gets more use from his enemies than a fool from his friends.

Anyone can hold the helm when the sea is calm.

Be bold in what you stand for and careful what you fall for.

Believe your beliefs and doubt your doubts.

Be careful of your thoughts, they may become words at any moment.

Too much sunshine makes a desert.

If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.

Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

He who hesitates is probably right.

Never do card tricks for the group you play poker with.

Indecision is the key to flexibility.

Eat right. Stay fit. Die anyway.

Always try to be the best, but don't ever think you are the best.

Money is a good servant, but a bad master.

People in glass houses should always wear clothes.

If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

A waist is a terrible thing to mind.

Never clean your room while your plane ticket is in it.

Always drink upstream from the herd.

Be careful whose toes you step on today, they might be attached to the ass you have to kiss tomorrow.

Only dead fish go with the flow.

Simplicity of character is the result of profound thought.

When ideas fail, words become very handy.

You cannot tell which way the train went by looking at the track.

Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.

The facts, although interesting, are irrelevant.

Anything worth fighting for is worth fighting dirty for.

Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler.

Suicide is the most sincere form of self criticism.

Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.

The more you run over a dead cat, the flatter it gets.

No matter where you are, that's where your at.

There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.

Never wrestle with a pig: You both get all dirty, and the pig likes it.

Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level then beat you with experience.

It's only premarital sex if you're going to get married.

Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes.

Mental Floss prevents Moral Decay.

Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.

Honesty is the best policy, but insanity is a better defence.

Time is the best teacher. Unfortunately it kills all its students.

It's lonely at the top, but you eat better.

Time is what keeps everything from happening at once.

Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

Never put your finger where you wouldn't put your nose.

Common Sense is very Uncommon.

When the pupil is ready, the teacher will come.

He who laughs last didn't get the joke.

The things that come to those who wait may be the things left by those that got there first.

In the land of the blind, the one eyed man is king.

There are two kinds of people in the world, those that think there are two kinds of people in the world, and those that know better.

We occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of us pick ourselves up and hurry on as if nothing happened.

Some people wish to get what they deserve, while others fear the same.

He who bites his own dog barks last.

Early to rise, and early to bed, makes a man healthy but socially dead.

If you can't learn to do something well, learn to enjoy doing it poorly.

If at first you don't succeed, failure may be your style.

Nothing has value but that which you grant it.

To meet an old friend in a distant land is like refreshing rain after a long drought.

Intelligence is like underwear, everyone should have it, but we shouldn't show it off. - Gene Petret

When someone points skyward, it's the fool the looks at the finger.

On the road of life, there are windshields and there are bugsplats.

Do not seek to follow in the footsteps of the men of old. Seek what they sought.

People in glass houses shouldn't throw stones. Neither should they nail up pictures.

A pat on the back is only a few inches from a kick in the ass.

A truly wise man never plays leapfrog with a Unicorn.

An agreeable person is someone who agrees with you.

The best things in life aren't things.

The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.

The word listen contains the same letters as the word silent.

There are no passengers on spaceship Earth - we are all the crew.

The wonder of a single snowflake outweighs the wisdom of a million meteorologists.

There are no strangers in this world, just friends we've never met.

We don't stop playing because we grow old, we grow old because we stop playing.

When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.

Who gossips to you will gossip of you.

You always find something in the last place you look.

You can't help the poor man by destroying the rich.

You can't strengthen the weak by weakening the strong.

If you have much, give of your wealth. If you have little, give of your heart.

It is better to regret something you did, rather than to regret something you didn't do.

It is better to sleep on what you intend doing than to stay awake over what you've done.

It is easy to be flexible when one is spineless.

Live such that when you die, even the undertaker will be sorry.

Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

Anything you lose automatically doubles in value.

Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.

Never anger a dragon, for you are crunchy and you go well with Brie.

Sometimes it's easier to beg for forgiveness than ask for permission.

Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll land among the stars.

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat all day drinking beer.

Believe those who are seeking truth, doubt those who find it. - Andre' Gide

Think twice before you speak, especially if you intend to say what you think.

If you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always gotten.

It is best not to swap horses while crossing the river. - Lincoln

Live dangerously and you live right.

Character, like good soup, is made at home.

Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach him to use the Net and he won't bother you for weeks.

Be exceedingly humble, for the fate of man is but the worm.

Add life to your years, instead of years to your life.

It is far more impressive when others discover your good qualities without your help.

It is hard to stumble when you're on your knees.

It is important to stay cool, but be sure to not get frostbite.

It is nice to be important, but it's more important to be nice.

Conversation enriches the understanding, but solitude is the soul of genius.

Great minds discuss ideas. Average minds discuss events. Small minds discuss people.

Wise man make proverbs but fools repeat them.

A person whose heart is not content is like a snake which tries to swallow an elephant (Chinese proverb)

At the feast of ego, everyone leaves hungry.

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There is no such thing as a problem without a gift for you in its hands. You seek such problems because you need their gifts. - Richard Bach, "Illusions..."

"Everyday above ground is a good day"

Don't make waves and you won't drown. You won't reach land either...

When you fall off a horse don't get back on because the horse probably doesn't like you

Carpe diem - Seize the day; Carp in denim - There's a fish in my pants!

Boys will be boys... and so will a lot of middle aged men!

A comfortable falsehood will always win out over an uncomfortable truth.

It takes one tree to make 10,000 matches, but one match to burn 10,000 trees.

Why survive when you can live?

Nothing makes your clothes go out of fashion faster than getting a raise.

Pray to God but row for the shore (old Russian proverb)

With lies you may get ahead in life but you can never turn back. - Old Russian proverb.

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